Are you the kind of couple in which one person fantasises about mountains of French fries while the other spends hours at the gym romancing the weights? They say opposites attract, but the going can get tough when one partner loves all things unhealthy and the other is obsessed with fitness. Priya Chaphekar talks to couples about how to tackle such situations.
Before his marriage, 35-year-old IT consultant Rishabh Shah was extremely health conscious. But today, he is happily married and comfortably complacent about his 10 kg weight gain in a year’s time. While his wife consciously tries to keep her weight in check by following a balanced diet and enrolling herself for a variety of workouts, Rishabh is too busy to even serve himself a meal. “I was fitter than ever before I met my wife. But during our courting period, we ended up eating at these fancy restaurants and cafés almost every alternate day. To add to that, my wife ordered too many items on the menu and ate exactly two spoons out of each dish. Since I don’t like to waste food, I polished off whatever was left,” he recalls. “It’s extremely difficult to keep up with your fitness goals when you’ve newly fallen in love.”
So, what really happens after marriage? According to relationship counsellor Shruti Save, most people tend to put on weight once they’re in a full-fledged relationship. “Once the pressure to find a compatible partner is off your shoulders, you don’t care about what you eat or whether you’re in good shape; you’re just in a happy place, free to binge on the pizzas and chocolate truffles and pack in some pounds,” she points out.
On your own
Relationships are not always about unicorns and rainbows. While you may have impressed your partner with your moves, your weight gain might be a major turn off. Shares PR consultant Juhi Rao, “It’s not the weight gain as much but the lethargy that seeps in thereafter. I put on more than 10 pounds after marriage and although I didn’t look big, I felt big. I later realised that it was my husband’s unhealthy habits that were rubbing off on me. I went from waking up at 5 am to waking up at 8 am everyday, skipping my daily meals and replacing a healthy home-cooked breakfast with sausages and muffins. Thankfully, I was wise enough to get my routine in order when my cholis failed to fit me a year later. I tried to make a positive change in my husband’s lifestyle by appointing a yoga trainer at home as well as gifting him a cross trainer, but failed miserably. So he is still the same, but I feel way more fit these days. I believe there are couples who achieve fitness goals together, and there are couples who just don’t. I think if we start working on ourselves independently, we’re bound to inspire others in a positive manner.”
Fat but fabulous
And then there are those rare lovebirds who love their partners in spite of all their flaws. Thirty-two-year-old banker Simran Kaur strongly believes that your partner is your home, your family, and you love them for the way they make you feel and not their appearance. “I married a fat guy. He was fat when we met, when we started dating and when we married each other, and I’m completely fine with that. Hugging him feels like hugging a pillow as opposed to a six-packed ripped rock. What matters to me is he’s still as funny and smart. What’s more, he is amazingly talented in bed,” she says. According to Save, most women will choose a healthy partner who is funny to a man who is obsessed with fitness. “When your man is healthy too, you don’t feel constant compelling need to weigh calories or drag yourself to the gym even after a long day,” she says.
You are your priority
A year ago, 28-year-old homemaker Nisha Ramchandani worked out with her husband and lost all the post-pregnancy weight. However, she put on all the weight she’d lost after she relocated to another city. “Back in Mumbai,
I could drop my baby off to my parents’ place and hit the gym. In Gurgaon, there was no one to take care of the baby so I went from a fitness fanatic to
a mere stay-at-home mom within a month’s time. But the good part was that my husband supported me through this struggle. I think a baby is a mother’s biggest excuse. You just need to be determined enough to find a way out,” she insists. Although Nisha was growing bigger, she never missed her salon appointments and kept herself prim and proper at all times. This inspired her to start running in the mornings when her husband was home and later squeeze in sets of squats, lunges and Suryanamaskar during her baby’s naptime.
Work out together
Research shows that 94 per cent of couples stick with their fitness programmes when they work out together. Says personal fitness trainer Mahesh More,“Couples who sweat together, stay together. And that’s probably the reason why most gyms have a 2-for-1 membership all-year round. The ideal programme for couples can include alternating box jump, in which partners can face each other and take turns to jump on and off the box in a squat position, high five push-ups, wherein partners can face each other and give each other a high five for each count, seated medicine ball twist in which partners can sit down back-to-back and move the medicine ball from right to left and then in the opposite direction and bicycle crunches, in which you press the soles of your feet against each other and do a combination of cycling and abs.” If you’re doing these exercises at home, you can add a dash of romance by adding hand-holds to reverse crunches and kisses to planks. Twenty nine-year-old fashion designer Madhura Oak, who works out with her husband every day highlights, “The corporate life makes it difficult for partners to spend time with each other, but the gym is one place where you can bond. Although my partner and I don’t engage in the lovey-dovey couple exercises, we do steal a glance, shower together later and cook healthy dishes together. On days when we don’t like to hit the gym, we go for a run or climb stairs. It’s so much better than sitting before the television and eating junk!”
10 Commandments
• Your partner might be trying hard to eat healthy and exercise but is still not able to lose weight due to other reasons such as thyroid problems, depression or medication. During these times, motivate, don’t mock.
• Consult a nutritionist and a fitness expert together. You’ll lose weight faster when there’s healthy competition at home.
• Fat shaming makes people feel vulnerable and powerless. Support your partner to achieve their fitness goals without forcing them.
• Reward them with something nice every time they shed a pound or two.
• Make your workouts fun with synced squats, medicine ball rotation and double dare crunches.
• Plan your holidays at an organic farm where you can eat homemade local food or take off to the mountains for a good hike.
• Pack a healthy basket of goodies, a pair of hiking boots, lots of water and take a walk through the woods.
• From aerial silk to CrossFit, keep experimenting with different workouts.
• Don’t call it gym time; call it a fitness date.
Bonding over weights is always better than bonding over pasta.
• Don’t forget the stretches, the massage and the steam – the works!
