We all like to get a little experimental in the bedroom. And everyone of us have our favourites. Aruna Rathod gets experts to decode some of the all-time favourites, with ways to make it better for you.
So, what is it that your partner loves in bed? Is he bold and daring, and does a session between the sheets with him leave you satisfied and exhausted? Well, that says a lot about your man. The reality is that every man has a favourite position, depending on his age, physique and nature. So what does your partner’s favourite position say about him?
Dr Shannon Chavez Qureshi, Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist from Los Angeles, California, USA (www.drshannonchavez.com) says, “A man usually chooses a position that allows him to feel dominant and exercise his maximum pleasure. Other times, aposition preference may be based on mood or energy level. At times, for a more sensual connection with a partner, your man may want to be face-to-face and body-to-body where he can gaze into his partner’s eyes and inhale his partner’s aroma while engaging in sexual activity.”
THE MISSIONARY POSITION
“This position allows a man to be in control and use his body to give her pleasure. He can use his armsand chest to move his body and control the friction during sex.
A man with a positive body image may like thisposition so he can show his partner his body in motion while flexing his arms and chest,” explains Dr Qureshi.
Make it better: Mumbai-based Dr Pavan Sonar, psychiatrist and sexologist, says, “If your man loves the missionary position, you can make it better. While on your back, put a cushion under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you’re folding in half.”
“A very popular style with most men is the Doggy style. This is an animalistic way for men to express their sexual dominance.This is how most animals have sex in the animal kingdom. Men get to be in full control of a woman’s body and moveher hips with each thrust and stride. Men also like the dominance of women on all fours or bent over and lookingaway. This is a sexual position of power that can be very arousing for both partners,” says Dr Qureshi.
Make it better: She advises couples to start with a sensual touch up and down your partner’s back and front, then use your other hand during penetration to stimulate her clitoris and massage her vulva and experiment with different depths of penetration and slower and sensual movements. Dr Sonar says, “The doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you.” His advice: Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you. Not only does this face down configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.
WOMAN ON TOP
The third position with some men is the ‘Women on Top’ position. “Men like the view in this position as they watch a woman move her body and be in control of her ownpleasure. Men get to lie back and enjoy the ride. For
a relaxing position with maximum pleasure, this is a great position and requires little work from the man with the same orgasmic potential,” explains Dr Qureshi.
Make it better: “Feel her energy and the strength in her thighs as she moves; lightly touch her breasts with your fingertips as she glides back and forth and use your hands to pull her hips closer to you and create more friction,” advises Dr Sonar.
MAXIMISE YOUR PLEASURE
The Missionary Position
This move will allow him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration—a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this to be just a warm-up—you’re getting the zone ready for a more intense orgasm. “Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital alignment position. He’s on top, but he lifts his pelvis upward, aligning it with your clitoris,” says Dr Sonar adding that then he rocks against the area until you peak. The legs-up position is a slow one that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done coital alignment alone.
Dr Qureshi’s Tips for The Missionary:
• Take it slow. Slower sex is more pleasurable sex. Let your body feel every inch of contact with your partner’s body. Experiment with different speeds and strokes to make this position fun.
• Use eye contact as a tool to stay connected. Remember the eyes are the windows to the soul. Gaze in your partner’s eyes and feel their energy.
• Increase arousal by taking in your partner’s scent. Nuzzle your face in their neck and let chemistry do the rest.
On his side
A fairly relaxed position, while you’re on your back, he should lie on his side, turned toward you. Swing both legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them. Then, just let him gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. “It’s not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out. When you want to climax, it’s easy to touch yourself or he can use his top hand to stimulate
you as well,” says Dr Sonar.
In some cases, a simple change of location can augment in achieving orgasm. For this move, you’ll need akitchen table — one that comes to his waist level. Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge. He enters you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage. You can rest your feet on his shoulders or on the edge of the table. Because he’s standing, his hands are free to stroke your body. And he’s at
a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for him to touch your clitoris, directly. Clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area to enhance your orgasmic pleasure.
Face to face straddling is a favourite. He sits and you straddle him so you’re face-to-face. You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you manoeuvre. Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring for you, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against him. In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this booty move. If you lean back just a little bit, you’ll get greater G-spot stimulation and he’ll be able to play with your clitoris. Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with his mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience.
The spoon position is a very comfortable position. To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your partner behind you. Rather than move in and out, he should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation to your G-spot, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse. Since he may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide his hand around your spot.